Who's the daddy?

I saw Ray 'the daddy' Winstone driving a lorry yesterday.

He was very polite and let me go past him. I always thought he was a nice chap beneath that tough guy exterior.

Well I say it was Ray Winstone, but I can't be too sure. He does seem to get everywhere these days so it could very well have been him.

But then again, this guy didn't try and make me bet on how long I'd be stuck in traffic for or how many calories my nan's milkman's dog would consume that day.

So I concluded it probably wasn't Ray after all.

Maybe next time...

Gordon Ramsay followed me home last night...

Gordon Ramsay followed me home last night.

Don't worry, there's no need to call the police. He was driving in a car behind mine.

It was good to see him out and about, after getting completely floored by the legend that is Teddy Sherringham during the Soccer Aid match on Sunday. He had us all going for a minute.

It was hard to spot the super chef at first, as I was busy concentrating on the upcoming roundabout, but I managed to clock his funky blonde mop in the rear view mirror.

But as he pulled up closer to my bumper, I realised that this man didn't look like he had a single expletive in his vocabulary. I concluded that it wasn't in fact chef Gordon after all.

Maybe next time...

1 pint of milkshake and a celebrity nurse

This week I discovered a shop which does the most amazing milkshakes; so amazing in fact I considered writing a blog on each one. I soon gave up on that idea though when I realised that, actually, I didn't want to get obese.

Anyway, before I had come to this decision, I trotted out of the office and down to said shop to indulge in a Toblerone milkshake with white mice on the top. (Very nice indeed by the way)

On my way I spotted a skinny, red-headed woman sauntering towards me. I knew instantly she was famous, but who was she?!

Then I imagined her in a nurses outfit, with a scapel in her hand (not in a pervy way and if you read on you'll find out why)

Yes, it was that woman from Holby City, Jaq I think her name is.

I got the milkshake and ran back to the office to tell all my colleagues the good news (after being stopped by some burly and pretty scary-looking builders who wanted to know if my milkshake was nice)

The crew back at the office seemed distinctly underwhelmed and informed me that she lived around here so it wasn't really anything special.

I realised that actually I was quite underwhelmed too and just went back to my plastic cup of chocolately goodness.

Maybe next time...

Think orange, think Essex...

I saw someone from The Only Way is Essex earlier.

But I don't really think that someone who paints themselves the colour of a cheesy Wotsit and says "Shuuuuut uuuuppppp" a lot really counts as a celebrity.

Maybe next time...

Joly by name, jolly by nature

Being stuck in traffic is monumentally shit; but it does of course give you the chance to stare at people coming the other way.

Nose pickers, car karaoke enthusiasts and even celebrities! Yay!

I was sitting in my latest queue, wondering if I would make it home before Jordan could find someone to stay married to for longer than 5mins (not likely, let's face it), when a jolly looking man in a BMW came towards me.

So jolly in fact, it was Dom Joly.

It's weird because you don't always expect people to actually be their name. For example, I wouldn't expect Gary Lightbody to weigh less than a feather or Jude Law to give me legal advice.

Anyway, as he drove past I realised that the guy wasn't on a giant mobile phone and yelling 'HELLLLLOOOOO' so obviously wasn't Dom Joly after all.

Shame.

Maybe next time...

Small Bump? It's the pasty I've just eaten...

I lost a whole lb at Slimming World this week, but it could easily have been a very different story.

I'd been out on a job for work yesterday and was on my way back to the office when I saw a young man in a cool beanie hat walking towards me. He was eating a Cornish pasty.

I nearly choked on fresh air when I realised who it was.

I'll give you a clue: he's ginger and sings about Lego and being drunk (two of my favourite things actually)... Yes, Ed Sheeran <3

My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to run to the pasty shop just so I could say I'd had the same lunch as Ed Sheeran that day.

But as he walked past it turned out it wasn't him at all, just a wannabe in a beanie :(

After that I decided against the pasty. I won't eat anything unless it's been endorsed by a celebrity.

Maybe next time...

Y-M-C....oh wait...

Got mega excited today when I was walking through town and saw what can only be described as 'Chris Moyles dressed as a builder'; mainly because it was Chris Moyles dressed as a builder.

I quickly put two and two together and figured out that this was obviously some kind of Village People tribute and that any minute now YMCA would start blaring out.

Sensing an opportunity to be involved in something GREAT, I made my way across the road to offer my services as a backing dancer/singer.

I was pretty confident I could remember all the moves, although I did start to doubt myself when I realised I have only ever danced to the YMCA when completely smashed at a wedding/naff disco.

But as I looked around and discovered that no one else was dressed as a cowboy, Indian, or indeed a kinky policeman, I came to the conclusion that this was just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill builder and not Chris Moyles after all. Gutted.

However, I did end up getting a very reasonable quote for a conservatory. I don't actually have room for one but having crossed the road to chase after this poor man, I needed to salvage the situation somehow.

Maybe next time...

Rihanna loves Ricicles

I had to pop to Sainsbury's earlier as I was in dire need of some cereal. Weetabix Minis in case you were wondering. The strawberry ones.


I don't usually shop in Sainsbury's, but it was the closest to my current location so I gave it a whirl. And it's lucky I did really.


I was strolling down the cereal aisle, dodging an old woman on a mobility scooter, when I noticed a familiar face scanning a box of Ricicles.


It was only Rihanna of all people!


Suddenly realising that that must be the secret to her amazing figure, I promptly dropped the Weetabix and made a beeline for the Ricicles instead.


However, as I got closer I realised it wasn't her after all and that I actually hate Ricicles. 


Maybe next time...